"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
04/04/2018 at 10:16 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire
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"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
04/04/2018 at 10:16 • Filed to: Taketheoutsideline, Satire | 7
| 3 |
Welcome to The Morning Sh*t! Now featuring random hyperlinky goodness (all of it SFW).
1 st Wipe : Tesla will have a hard time selling its !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! in China thanks to huge retaliatory tariffs.
2 nd Wipe : GM and Ford trying to break up Trump vs China fight, but only in the same way you see boxing promoters doing that during the pre-match !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! where you wonder if they’re going to kiss or something.
3 rd Wipe : Seasonally-adjusted US sales up, thanks mainly to SUVs and fleet sales. You’ve never seen this headline before, since it has never happened in the history of the US car industry.
4 th Wipe : Volvo sales are up 50% year-over-year. Both of last year’s buyers purchased a second one for their wives and one for his overprivileged son who just moved back home after college to “figure things out.”
5 th Wipe : Takata !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! with $182 million.
Splashback : Happy Birthday to the late Bill France, who managed to take a group of illegal liquor-fueled DIY car tuners racing down mountain roads !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! and turn it into a sanitized corporate-sponsored series of identical cars on paved ovals in just a few short decades.
boredalways
> Ash78, voting early and often
04/04/2018 at 10:25 |
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5th Wipe: wait a sec...wouldn’t everyone be a winner with a Takata airbag functioning properly all the time?
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Ash78, voting early and often
> boredalways
04/04/2018 at 10:29 |
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Yeah, except instead of vouchers, they paid out in rusty pennies. Subtle distinction.
BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo
> Ash78, voting early and often
04/04/2018 at 10:30 |
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Well thanks. I just laughed in the middle of class in a lecture hall courtesy of 5th wipe.